Products for you and your gender

By Caris Horton

Have you ever wanted to buy a product but felt like you needed one that specifically caters to your gender? Well, you’re in luck. There are hundreds of great products that you can buy to fit your needs. The products below are 100% real and can be brought online or in store now so hurry and get your gendered products today.

BICS pens for her

We all know women can’t use heavy, manly pens for fear of breaking a nail. Luckily, BIC has been kind enough to create a pen that is light enough for our delicate female arms to lift and it even features a ‘thin barrel designed to fit a woman’s hand’. This pen range also comes in beautiful pastel colours like pink or purple so you never have to worry about using an ugly green pen by mistake. Could you imagine the consequences if someone caught you with a green or even blue pen? BIC has finally freed women from the horror of using male pens that have been plaguing womankind for generations. As an added bonus, this pen will also suit all of your womanly needs such as writing down shopping lists or penciling in your manicure appointment.

Kleenex Mansize tissues

Men, don’t feel left out. You too can now partake in blowing your nose without fear of your snot tearing a delicate tissue in half. It is a scientific fact that being a man means having stronger mucus so finally there is a tissue tough enough to deal with your sneezing. Leave the delicate lady tissues behind and solve all of your snot problems with bigger and stronger tissues that finally cater to your enormously powerful sneezes.

Kinder Surprise – Girl and Boy Editions

The goodness of a yummy chocolate egg now comes with toys that helpfully reinforce gender roles! For the girls, you may be lucky enough to snag a pretty pink bracelet. For the boys, a plastic ball is an exciting prize you might just get. By giving your daughter a Kinder Surprise specific to her gender, it allows her to know just how important it is to start accessorizing as soon as possible! After all, ladies, we all want to make sure we have the perfect accessories that can match our shoes. Meanwhile the boys can show off their athletic nature, young girls everywhere can happily watch the ball games while primping and preening. Neat! The eggs are even helpfully colour coded (blue for boys and pink for girls). But please be careful, side effects may occur if a male happens to eat a pink Kinder Surprise, this includes the development of breasts and a sudden lack of driving ability.

Honda Fit She’s

This car is like the Barbie dream car you have always wanted. Honda has created a small car especially for us ladies, with all the special features that we desperately need. How many times have you driven around and thought ‘Gee, I wish my car was more pink?’ Well, with the Honda Fit She’s, everything is pink! From the exterior to the pink stitching in the seats, Honda has you covered. If you are a wacky woman that doesn’t like the colour pink, there are other shades like brown and white that “match the colour of eyeshadow”, according to a helpful Honda executive. It also comes with a special air conditioning system that works to improve your skin quality and stop those nasty wrinkles in their tracks. If you ever do get one wrinkle while driving this car, Honda has made a personal promise to give you a free Botox treatment in return so you can be wrinkle-free and full of chemicals for the rest of your driving days! Now all we need in this car is a lipstick holder and inbuilt tissues, just in case our estrogen sends us into a manic crying fit, and it will be complete.

Metior Magazine