My Drunk Wine Review

By Brittany Asplin

Just another excuse for me to get drunk?  No, it's not just any excuse, it's for science!

Image By Rhiannon Jones

Image By Rhiannon Jones

Here I am for another wine review, except this time I thought I would document my process of tasting, reviewing and slowly getting drunk from a bottle of wine.  Once again, my wallet was happy along with my taste buds as I found a $12 bottle of Amberley Shiraz 2017 from Margaret River, Western Australia.  I hope you guys enjoy my descent into drunkenness with a delicious bottle of red.  (Don't try this at home.  Or do.  I'm not your parent).

Glass 1

On the first taste it is smooth, velvety, and full of fresh berries.  Considering it is only a year old red, it seems to be packed full of flavour.  Subtle tastes of spicy oak, blackcurrants and almost hints of mint chocolate and cherry ripe linger on the palate.  With a scent of toffee, violets and coffee, and a light cherry colour, this wine is pretty delicious.  This wine would be great with lamb, beef or anything with hot chillies.  Not the best red in the world but definitely not the worst.  For $12 or $25 for two bottles, I would buy it again.

Glass 2:

Had wine with dinner, it was delicious.  It paired really well with roast chicken and veggies.  Now I'm watching the telly with my knitting and glass of wine; two of my favourite things coming together.  Might need a pee break soon though, but everyone knows 'don't break the seal early' or you're screwed for the night.

Glass 3:

Slightly large pour than the other, but hey I'm thirsty.  And now Gogglebox is on!  Yay it's back!  Who would've thought that watching people watching telly would've become so popular?  My wine seems to taste more like coffee and spicy berries.  Knitting is still going pretty good, had to add a new ball, might actually get it done tonight.  Ok pee break!

Glass 4:

Oh! I didn't say what I was knitting!  I'm knitting a beanie for dad for Father's Day.  But don't tell him that, it's a surprise.  What was I doing...oh right wine review!  Right!  Um the berries are kind of gone...but now it is now mulberries?  Cherries?  Wait, they're though berries...I dunno it still tastes good!  It looks thick in the glass, like how it coats it.  Almost like caramel thick.

Glass 5 (end of the bottle):

Getting a coat in my mouth now, I bet my tongue is purple as heck!  I need chips; can someone please send some my way?  Getting really hungry.  Maybe some ramen, really spicy ramen would be lovely right now.  Aw no more wine.  Yes, I finished the bottle, don't judge me >_<

Ooo Scotch Time! (Glass 6):

Love me some scotch!  Dalwhinnie Winter's Gold, expensive at $80 a bottle but so flowery, mossy, delicate and smooth as a baby's butt.  One of the best in the world.  Speaking of butts, men have really nice butts.  There must be other women out there that agree with me.  That and hairy chests.  Oof so sessy! :P  I have to pee again.

Glass ... 7!

Pants are off!  They are expelled from my butt! :D  Now to snuggle in bed with giant t-shirt and no bra.  The best feeling at the end of the day is getting the bra off.  Don't get me to do anything that requires me to have a bra on.  As soon as this booby-trap (hehe booby) is off I do nothing! :D  Oh my knitting!  Still need another 6cm and it's done!

Glass 8 Time for Bed.

Electric blanket is on, so friggen cold!  I may have to put my pants back on (yes it's that cold).  My footsies are in fluffy socks, and I filled a water bottle for Britty! :D  Drunk Britty looks after Hangover Britty.  Just need to remember to drink it Britty :D Welp time for bed, getting really sleepy now.  Writing is fucked, but I added smiley faces :)  I hope I can read this in the morning...

The Next Morning...

Why the fluff did I think that was a good idea?  I feel like shit.  It seems to be once you pass the mid 20s range you can't drink like an 18-year-old and have no effect the next day.  God dang it I have work at 9.  At least my knitting isn't screwed up.  I need to eat something.  Oh my notes, hopefully I took some good ... I can't read this.

METIOR EditorComment