Student who entirely plagiarised assignment hopes and prays Urkund doesn’t know Gone with the Wind

By Thomas Wendt

Creative Writing student Joe Malcom, after a week of procrastinating his assignments, bravely chose to plagiarise an entire chapter of “Gone with the Wind” and hoped that Urkund hasn’t heard of it.

Joe, after a week of late night drinking and Netflix while procrastinating doing his assignments, decided in a drunken stupor fifteen minutes before the deadline to just “find an old book and copy it down.”

“I just needed to find some book that the guy that runs Urkund hasn’t read,” Joe stated, unaware that Urkund is a computer program that scans the internet, “Yeah, I just found this old book about a frog man or something, I dunno man.”

Patrick Thompson, Joe’s creative writing tutor and the person marking his assignment, said he noticed immediately, even if Urkund hadn’t given an 84% rating.

“I wrote my thesis on the relationship between Scarlett and the men in the play, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t even read it, because he tried to write his explanation on the book “The Wind in the Willows”, so he’s definitely not passing.”

Allegedly, this is his fourth plagiarism offence, with his most notorious offence including Joe trying to submit the unit coordinators own thesis for the final assignment for one unit.

This has been an advantageous venture for Joe however, as he has since started up a new business writing people’s assignments for them called “Joe’s Assignments.” How he intends to make the business profitable, however, when he has a history of plagiarism problems, but also signs his name at the bottom of your assignment, leaves us entirely confused.